“Don’t miss the donut by looking through the hole.” ~Author Unknown
I’m afraid I’ve been looking through the donut hole.
We’re on the verge of a fork or two in our road of life. I think we’ve been living on that verge, but the actual fork ahead has been a little blurry for months. And the signs are in a language we can’t understand–like Dutch.
Is it due to our stubbornness? Or are we patiently waiting for the haze to clear, someone to interpret the signs?
Sometimes I don’t feel very patient at all.
Since we wrecked our car, the haze has been clearing. Change is absolute.
At the time the choices listed below were made they didn’t seem so small. What makes them seem small now is the fact that, since making them, we haven’t been sure at all where they would lead us. I’ve been focused on the “donut hole” of them. Why did they seem right? How is this helping us be successful? The donut–the accumulation of these choices–could be big, but how? Where? When?
Choice a) Quit my full-time office job in October to make Samantha and our business more of a priority.
b) Need for more clientelle, more education, more income–> Alan pursues our business, marketing, and studying for massage and the Army; I pursue working for someone else to learn some insider business-running tips.
c) New work schedule demolishes much of that desired extra time with Samantha. I now know for certainty that I love my career choice. Loving my career choice makes a difference in me and my family, but it’s not currently sufficient for our needs.
d) After months of feeling guilty about not fulfilling my perceived need to be there for Samantha, I get bucked off my expectations bronco. Realization: Alan continuing as the primary care-giver is the exact dynamic all three of us have needed. It’s what is working. (More on that later…)
e) One day a month/4 clients in my ol’ home-town snowballs into 2 days a month/15 repeat clients with more signing on.
f) We’re down to one car, saving our insurance pay-out for a car later.
g) My 2 year-old wrist injury and an old habit of having a pay-check with a reliable figure begs me to quit massage for a while. Are these ploys to distract me? I’m about to give in.
h) And then I get a phone call. Today I see a donut. The lens is clear and here comes the fork with a whole new batch of small choices to select from.
Vague? Yeah, it’s kinda been like that. I’ll let you know when we get to where it is we’re going.