“We tried an experiment in our family, and…everything turned out all right.” – Anna Perrott Rose, Room for One More
I’ve been known to dislike Mother’s Day in the past. After infertility treatments or adoption fall-thru’s especially, it was a huge reminder of a most desired blessing being withheld from my life. Because of those years, however, I have been learning to be grateful that I’m not who I thought I wanted to be.
Lest I seem ungrateful for my current “mother” status or that it hasn’t been documented heartily enough, let me just say…
I am grateful to be a mom to Samantha.
I’m reading a book my mom sent my direction called Room for One More. The author, Anna Perrott Rose Wright, and her husband had three children of their own in the 1930’s and then they took in three other children “for no particular reason, except that each of them was badly in need of a home.” The book was my grandma Sammy’s and is well worn by time and use.
My situation is different from Ms. Wright’s, but I can relate to her and the lessons she learned.
The quote I added for this post came from the first few lines of her book, but I left part of it out above. Here’s the whole statement:“We tried an experiment in our family and, when we began, people said: You’re crazy!
You can’t afford it, and
You’re making a Big Mistake! We went ahead anyway and everything turned out all right.”
Those aren’t the exact words we have heard. We’ve heard many wonderful, encouraging things and for that we’re always grateful. But there have been those other kinds of words. They came in the form of “I don’t know how you do it!” or “I couldn’t do what you’re doing!” or a few variations of “She’s got bigger problems than you can handle!” All of which have taught me, once again, that the best source for advice or answers isn’t a psychologist or a parenting expert or a family member, it’s prayer.
Prayer works. That’s how I now know of my own divine role as a mother. That’s how I know this is the way it was supposed to be. Reading Room for One More has been helping reinforce those feelings that everything will ‘turn out all right’.
The book is full of wisdom and humor and helps me with visualizing the bigger picture. I highly recommend it for anyone. Here’s an excerpt that I like a lot.
(In the chapter about, Joey, one of her “additions”…)
“…when Jane had indulged in a temper outburst, Joey followed me into the kitchen and asked ‘Oh, Mother, why does she talk so cross to you?’
‘She’s just adolescent, I guess,’ I answered cheerfully, whereupon he put his short arms as far around my wide waist as they would go and cried, ‘Mother, I promise you, I promise that I’ll never, never be adolescent!”
And yet, in spite of this vow, he was!…
That was the time when I really did worry about heredity! ‘Do you suppose he has insanity somewhere in his family?’ I asked my husband, but he only laughed.
‘It’s just temporary insanity,’ he assured me. ‘They all get it, and they all get over it. It’s only adolescence. You’d better not collapse under this case of it. There are a few more coming up!'”
We’re in the midst of this lesson, yes we are. And later we’ll laugh about it because it’ll turn out all right.
Now for a short list of Samantha-isms that help me enjoy being her mom.
– When someone said her physical dilemma could be related to some advice I gave her, Samantha said to me, “Just so you know, I don’t blame you.”
– Her intelligence. She does very well in school. I often find myself surprised at something she’s said and think, “How did she figure that out?”
– Before an incident has the possibility of happening, she’s saying what she might do and innocently tattles on herself. It’s hilarious. (Wish I could think of an example. I may be back here to add one.)
– She questions things. Sometimes this drives us cuh-ray-ay-zee, but I can see how it helps her discover and push the envelop on knowledge. It makes me excited to see what she does with this quality.
– When I’m singing along with the radio to a song she’s never heard, she’ll say, “How do you know that song?”
– She loves and respects Alan and wonders when he will come home almost in the minute he leaves the house.
– She’s maturely talked several times with me in a way that shows she is working to overcome her unwanted, undeserved, chaotic past.
– She’s only said, “You’re not my mother” or “I hate it here” a few times and every other time is loaded with “I love you”s.
– She told me that I would make a good back-up singer.