Return to Self: Mrs. Gutless Feel So Good

“Surviving meant being born over and over.”  ~ Erica Jong


What have I been up to during these past seven weeks? Well…

We got a new puppy named Woody. He was 6 months old when we adopted him from the Animal Shelter on November 15th. As puppies go, he’s a lot of work, but so fun.

Then there was this day.

Here I am on Thanksgiving Day, two days after having a hysterectomy. I was feeling SO good on this day. Really. Can’t you tell? The doctor even released me a day early and I got to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

But perhaps I should not have eaten those four bites of turkey because the next day I was sicker than sick. Back in my same hospital room later that evening, drugs were dripping through my IV to fix an ileus (bowel obstruction). Black Friday indeed. At least I got to wear my Christmas Eve jammies a month early.

Three days after that I was practically dancing with excitement over the movement of things. I could go home. I felt SO good! And home was heaven.

Heaven lasted for three glorious days. And then… (If you’ve ever doubted the possibility of popping a stitch with a sneeze, don’t. Trust me. Just let it out.) Off to the ER we went for a temporary fix of hemorrhaging until I could get to my doctor an hour and a half away.

Got the permanent fix from my doc the following day and went back home a wee bit afraid to say, “I feel SO good!”

Other than those two mishaps…

The best part about recovering from surgery was lying around watching my stacked up DVR’d shows, reading, working on Christmas projects, sleeping and doing a pretty good job of not feeling guilty about it. Actually, if you ever have to go through it, my #1 tip to a fabulous abdominal surgery recovery (besides having Alan for a husband ) is to get two cats and a dog. They should probably be sweet ones like mine, making them highly effective in therapeutic value. (I’m considering renting mine out for a fee if you’re interested.)

Today marks six weeks after surgery. Hallelujah. I think it’s been long enough without incident to say it:

I feel SO good!

Endometriosis has been one of (if not “the”) trial of all trials for me. In one way or another it has been an undercurrent of every aspect of my life–my relationship with my spouse, my jobs, making friends, schooling, leisure activities, financial dilemmas, having children and my faith. And with many more years left of life, I have time to figure out what I’m supposed to do with all of that experience–without my coming across as a victim.

Here’s what I know for sure: Shortly after my surgery a friend called me and said, “I hear you got your guts ripped out!” I laughed because it’s exactly what I have said many a time–“I just wish I could reach in rip it all out.” Those guts held a lot of weight for as small as they were, both literally and figuratively. The list of cons against having a complete hysterectomy at the age of 35 looked a lot more villainous than they actually were because the trade off is already worth the cost. Every day since (aside from the ileus and popped stitch) I am in awe of the lifted cloud of dark Endo endowments. I will not take my newfound freedom for granted.

In many ways I feel reborn. I remember having that thought after surgeries in the past and yet this feels new. This time I really am lighter–gutless. My daily epiphany of late:  “OH! This is what feeling good feels like.”


And this is what else we’ve been up to: Christmas in Elmo (mostly) captured by my fantastic photographer brother, Parker. Be sure to check out the last photo in the gallery for a spectacular star show.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that you’ll have a happy New Year! I’ll be back here shortly to resume my adventures in Holland in all its Stroopy glory.

One thought on “Return to Self: Mrs. Gutless Feel So Good

  1. I’m so glad you got to go to Thanksgiving dinner. Even if it did send you back to the hospital. And I’m so glad that 6 weeks have passed and that you are on this side of it. Glas you are feeling good!

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