Authentic Self: 1 Year. Whew! I made it.

“The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.” ~ Earl Nightingale

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It was March 4, 2010 when I began my Small Choices blogging project. In it, I set out to achieve three goals, 1) maintain focus on my life/passions/dreams as opposed to comparing myself to others, 2) blog more often and regularly, and 3) track those seemingly small choices to see where they lead after one year.

I was going to write a post every day. For a year.

Uh-huh.

I soon lowered the bar when I recognized the only way I could do that is if I made blogging my career. It’s quite miraculous that I stuck with the project, actually. The guidance of topics fueled my subconscious more often than I could make myself sit down and let the words flow.

But let’s recap…

The small choices path led to some pretty big choices/changes over this past year including,

demolishing our car,

helping take care of for a short time and then losing Grandma Nina,

saying goodbye to Samantha,

moving 67+ miles away from brothers and sisters and their families–including this little cutie,

living with my parents in the country for 3 months,

moving our massage therapy business to Enjoy Salon & Spa,

(our massage room decorated with candles, netting, rose petals and twinkle lights for Valentine’s Day)

living in and remodeling the money pit–err–The Cottage free of rent because our friends are nice,

getting two kitties,

signing on for 6 more years of Army National Guard,

(I have a photo of him re-upping, but can’t find it so we’ll settle for my favorite pic of him in uniform)

getting a puppy,

having my guts ripped out,

(here I am recovering–a.k.a. good for nothing but lying around cuddling with the cats and watching TV)

chopping my hair off,

and, hurrying up to wait for a possible offer for a Chaplain Assistant job (any day now).

What I Learned

I’ve spent some time reviewing my posts and as a type of gratitude journal, it did what I hoped it would–helped me focus on the positive, find ways to appreciate my life tests, and encouraged me to write. In fact, I’m more intent on writing now than I think I’ve ever been (outside of school). Which is good. It proves my cynical 25 year old self wrong: writing does have a purpose in my life, if for no other reason than to fulfill a longing.

Most importantly, I learned the value of embracing my differences and am moving away from my idea of “normal” (kids, job, house, etc.). It has helped me to be open with my experiences and helps others to do the same. Working as a massage therapists, we have had many open conversations with people. Whatever they’ve been through has something to teach us. Whenever I think, “I’m not sure I’m up for another massage today” it’s that client who blows me away with their willingness to share in understanding on a spiritual level.

My Favorite Small Choice

One of the small choices that has brought me the most joy has been the most surprising.

It’s having this ball of fluff…


(He’s either saying, “Hmm. That’s very interesting. I see what you mean.” or else, “What you talkin’ about Willis?”)

Woody has many endearing qualities that I will happily share in a later post, but in addition to those, I think there’s another reason I love this dog so much. I’ve wanted to be a mom for forever and started the real-life attempt when I was 21. I’m now 35. I finally feel like I get to use some of my bottled up Mommy skills. Some of those desires were manifest, practiced, and enjoyed with Samantha, but she was 9 1/2 when she came to live with us. I am grateful for that experience. Babies are another thing.

Yep, I am one of those people who feels like their animal is a member of the family. Woody is my baby. I didn’t understand that about people, even to the point of being judgmental. Now I’m sorry for that behavior.

What’s the Next Project?

That depends on the news we’re waiting to hear about that job in another country.

Until then, you’ll get updates on The Cottage and irresistible tales of our furry critters.

2 thoughts on “Authentic Self: 1 Year. Whew! I made it.

  1. I haven’t had a free min to read your blog for a while but after reading it I’m reminded I need to make time! You inspire me so much. I sure do miss having you around 😦

Your comments are the butter to my bread.

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