One of the biggest mistakes I made in my preparations to move to a foreign country was to not make preparations for when my prescription ran out.
I took my last dose of Premerin (estrogen replacement) on Saturday. I thought, “Ah, no biggy. I’ll be able to get it refilled here. No problem.” I’m not labeled ‘calm’ for nothing.
We ‘calm’ people know the truth about ‘calm’ people. At one point or another something forces them to erupt. It might be a gurgling fit, but beware of the explosion.
Without estrogen, this woman doesn’t need something to force the gurgling, the spewing or the exploding. It’s just there. On the outside I can usually keep a lid on it, but inside… let’s just call the mental institution right now.
Forced menopause. I asked for it, I know. But suddenly all of those weird little things about being in Germany are starting to really bug me. For example:
- It takes 5 hours to do 3 loads of laundry. NOT energy efficient, People! Not to mention the electrical fire hazard! Hello?!
- Gross tap water. There’s a reason your restaurant waiter looks at you funny when you ask for tap water. They know it’s gross. Locals don’t drink tap water. And the restaurants charge you 3 euro per bottle of Still water.
- Enough with the blaring car horns. Don’t you know it’s illegal? So what if I didn’t know it was my turn to go. Take a chill pill!
- Don’t glare at me for picking up my dog’s poop in a little sack. At least I’m leaving the endless paved streets cleaner. Just cause you leave your dog’s, doesn’t mean I’m going to leave mine. Unless you want me to leave it in your driveway.
- Can you Army personnel PLEASE figure out how to do your job and process my husband’s paperwork?! It’s been almost 4 months, for crying out loud! (You know who you are. –Oh wait, that’s the problem. You don’t know it’s your job.)
Can you see I have acquired the pal Anger lately? This lovely characteristic is also accompanied by his friends named Insomnia, Memory Loss (as if I could get any worse), Acne, Hot Flash, Irritability, Water Works (again–as if!), Fatigue, Lack of Motivation, and my all-time favorite, Mr. Depression.
After hearing an excessive amount of ‘Grrr!’ noises escaping my vocal chords, it’s no wonder why in our prayers last night, Alan asked Heavenly Father to please bless me to get some help “for her sake” when I know he really meant “please don’t let her kill me”.
I called the Army pharmacy here: Even though the label says “May refill 3 X by 01.13.2012”, they don’t do refills from WalMart bottles. I called my Utah doctor: They don’t give new prescriptions without a visit to the doctor first, but she’ll check to see if the Dr. will make an exception and let her fax a prescription clear across the world. (Someone should tell that nurse it’s not a good idea to ask a forced menopausal woman, “Can’t you see a doctor there?”)
This is the point when you tell me I’m being ridiculous. I should just go see a doctor here. Besides the fact that I’m utterly sick of doctor’s visits, I know this to be true, but I’m too far gone to see sense.
How slow I am to remember. How amazing it is the sanity 0.3 mg brings me. How blessed I am, though unworthy, to eventually be infused with some sense.
I call WalMart in Utah, refill the prescription by punching in a couple of numbers, ask my mom to pick it up and mail it to me, and will happily receive it quicker than I would have been able to see a doctor here. I walk up the street to my corner Apotheke (ahpo-tee-kuh/pharmacy) and tell them I’m desperate for a substitute (luckily they understand and speak a little Enlish) and they hook me up with herbal stuff. My Premerin is the lowest dosage so this sub aught to help, right? I’ll make an appointment with an Army doctor when the volcanic ash has cleared.
Grrr! Why didn’t I think of that?
Did you know that Super Heroes do exist? He’s called the Holy Ghost.
When your hormones are out of whack, prayer is the only way to go.